03 8 / 2014

As I lie here I feel you with me. Words cannot describe what I want because I don’t know what it is. I just miss you I guess. I just long to feel your arms around me always. There is never a moment you hold me that feels unsure. Never too close. Why aren’t you here. I need you. It’s the truth. I love you. I know that you’ll be laying in the same way I am, watching as you usually do. I can smell the same thing I did on that first night, and I didn’t realise in that awkwardness that you would become such a big part of me. That I would long to be where you are, or long for you to be where I am. I do love you.

08 7 / 2014

Stay up with you all night. Cause I don’t want to miss a moment.

Pray to god he hears you. Because you’re screams are so deafeningly silent that I can’t hear you anymore.

You begin to wonder why you came. Retrace your steps to find where, somewhere you lost out. Why you end up here every time.

I’ll stay up with you all night because I know how to save your life. Please stay with me. Don’t leave me alone in this wide world. This tiny world that is caving in on me. I only pretend to be the strong one I was lying, help me, don’t leave, hear my plea, I cant do this without you I really cant. Help.

I feel helpless in this whirlpool you’re creating. And you’ll just run, and as if I stand in quicksand I will sink with every minute, and my heart sinks too because you CHOOSE to go. You are going to throw me away, and now I feel angry but my love stops me from feeling this pain. So I’m left here in limbo, and you’ve escaped. Left the wreckage. Thanks. Once again, I will have to pick up the pieces. Gather the ashes. And free them to the wind.

Don’t let me go. Please.

24 5 / 2014

Who am I to you. Do you think this ok? You’re wrong. You’re not sorry. Stand in my shoes and try to pick up my pieces quicker than I can throw them away. Try finding me when I have hidden from the world.
You think you’re transparent? Fuck that. That’s why people walk all over you. That’s why I can see straight through you. The truth is, you’re not. You’re whole. And now you’re not the only one torn up. You’ve shattered my heart, you fool. Go on. Try pick up the pieces now.
I dare you.

06 5 / 2014

Please wrap your drunken arms around me.

I understand her. I have a brand new cure for lonely. you.

Is this love? Maybe someday. Don’t turn on the lights. the dark speaks the truth. You drink like I never could. so please get me drunk and wrap your drunken arms around mine.

I’d give you what you like if I could. Just give me what I need. But you give me all I don’t. You give me the things I need like a hole in my head. Maybe another cigarette. Is this love? Maybe one day.

Please tell me I’m the one and only. Please just lie. Or just pretend its right.

Give me what you like.

21 4 / 2014

I always seem to find you. Keep moving back and forth until I reach a point I realise that I can hold you, but only part of you, always.
In everything I find myself looking out my window in the hopes I get one last glance at you before you disappear.
In every way I love you more that my words can allow me to express, and more than anything in my life at this moment, and this being the reason I just want to hold you, and never let go.
In every song I realise you are the words. And I figure out that you are my muse.
When we were 2, I was enchanted by you, and we became 1 quicker than I could fall.
In every word I try to catch myself from falling, but then I realise, I’ve already fallen, and now I lay on the ground, in your arms. Fallen, is an angel that protects her sister. And her embrace heals my soul. She protects me from myself. You allowed me to fall; into your arms
In every way, I love you.

15 3 / 2014

So I did. I took a leap and wrapped my arms around what I thought was happiness only to find that what it was wasn’t real. The feeling in my arms was hollow, and I can’t figure out why. But you didn’t want it there. Didn’t want me to stay, but you’re the only one who loves me enough; to let me go.

27 1 / 2014

You’re amazing, and you don’t even know it. You’re too perfect. The feeling I have when I’m with you, you’re my dearest, most gorgeous, loving, vulnerable, heartfelt friend I have ever been this close to. Babe, you absolutely leave me breathless because I know, that no matter what, you won’t let me down. You’re committed, just as I am, to this roller coaster that is life, we say, bring it on, cause I’m holding your hand. And you hold my heart.

26 1 / 2014

How can you sit there and say nothing? How can I stay here and be ok with that? Why do i keep waiting all the time knowing that it isn’t coming?

All I can see is you. The best and worst. All I have found is that when I’m happiest is when I’m with you but so much that when you go you take away everything. And you tell me you’re tired. I’m tired as well. Tired of shaking from this pain that has caused me to loose all control and from the love that I give to you only to have it taken and nothing else. Help me need something. Help you see what’s wrong here, on your own; I’ll never leave you, but soon you will be.

30 12 / 2013

I can’t help but think that this is right. When I hear it everything just melts away around me. And these feelings that I walk away from because they scare me, only seem like beautiful starts for the notes that will follow. To be up in front of that many people yelling my name, hoping to get a taste. So am I.

The other things on my mind, I’m sure will be the start. The time is now.
Cause if you asked me if I loved him, I’d lie.

06 12 / 2013

It all comes crashing to a halt in my head, as I start to realise, the right decision was absolutely the hardest one to make. Understand that I’m in the same place except that I won’t be in that place as soon as I first thought. Spots reflected in my head, as I rewind. Did I actually pay to do that? I was used, but it gave me life. It’s us against this world. Me and her.

My love won’t change.
It’s still the same.
I want you to stay
Don’t you wanna stay
Don’t you wanna be my soldier.